Saturday night I tried some sensory deprivation with an activity I love. Body punching and flogging. The negotiation for this was more on the deprivation than the activity. I said an impact scene was good, I wanted to focus on the deprivation. I have been interested in this since a night in the hot tub turned into sensual play, where I layed back, head under the water, hearing greatly decreased, closed my eyes and just felt the sensations.

I went into a deeper subspace than I have gone before, I have come close a few times, but never this deep.

I started out with ear plugs, a blindfold and plastic wrap on both feet and both hands, handcuffed to a chain bolted to the ceiling.Completely dark, unable to get a feel for where my hands and feet were in relation to the floor and ceiling, and hearing very muffled sounds, but unable to hear individual words. Left alone for a few minutes, I then could hear far off screams. Only they were not far off, they were next to me.

Jujubees and her boi were doing an impact scene next to us in a small room. I watched her boi being tied down on the bench. The restraining started on me so I was unable to see them anymore, just hear the scene starting. The sound of flogging and crops before the earplugs and blindfold being applied now sounded like a very far off popping noise followed by screams and yelps. The longer I had the darkness and quiet as my feet and hands were wrapped the sounds faded to where it sounded like it was very far away. The wrapping complete, I was standing in the room, feeling like I was alone, forgetting the close proximity of the scene a few feet away. Just being. Not really thinking anything, just occasionally noticing the lack of thoughts and feelings. Usually when I am restrained for a scene I have a lot of itches, stray hairs bugging my eyes, something needing moved, scratched etc. until the scene is in progress and I forget about them. This time, there were none. As the blindfold was being applied, I was able to reach up and move the hair from under, I was concerned this would be irritating later. Shouldn’t have bothered. I didn’t notice much of anything at that point. Except the feel of the chains. I have a chain fetish, in most of my scenes I either wear, or am restrained with chains. They give me grounding and a comfort. It is my “security blanket”.  With the saran wrap, I could no longer feel the chains. This I noticed.

The only thing I was truly aware of was the steady thumping that I figured out was me being hit. The change in sensations as the pinching and squeezing alternated with the hitting. Being lifted up by my ribcage, not by hands and any solid thing but by sharp stabbing pain of fingernails under the ribs. I was told later I climbed up the wall during one of these rib stabbings.

The loneliness was extreme whenever I felt him back away. Alternating wanting him to stop hitting me versus not wanting him to leave my side was very frustrating. And frightening. I was in a room full of people according to people who commented on seeing the scene as well as the other scene going on, yet I felt so very alone and abandoned when he was not within my sensing his presence.

Then the stingy horrific sensations started. Later I found out it was a flogger, using only the tips to make a more stinging sensation. It felt like a stingray, or a large switch of barbed wire. It might as well have been cutting my skin. And it was all over, I could not anticipate where they would land. Back, butt, thighs, calves, breasts, arms anywhere. Over and over. I remember becoming very mad. I started kicking and screaming I am told, it is a blur to me. Except the feeling of a child, in a far away place, alone and terrified. Going deeper into a black pool. Then the anger gave way to defeat.

Then the feeling of comfort, laying on the floor wrapped in safety.

I like body punching and flogging. Impact is one of my favorite BDSM activities. The soreness and muscle pain that lasts for days are part of the nice reminders that make me smile. This night, I was very sore and “broken” going home. I went to bed and didn’t wake up for about 8-9 hours. But then, except for being very tired, there has been little after muscle aches and pain. Different. Not sure why this is. Will have to explore that further.