Monthly Archives: May 2011

Memorial Week-End Wine Night…

Posted on by jouvarti
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Last night was wine night, the last one, well kind of, there is surely going to be visits and there is always skype.Fitting it was on Memorial day week-end.  This morning before Juju left, skype was trialed. It is a nice thing, not the same as in person, but a lot better than just texts, or a  phone call. A little too much wine was consumed, good food and fun conversations. No play last night. Juju needed to unwind, the past few weeks are taking tolls, too much driving! Glad it is her and not me!

Yesterday Tutivillus and I were putting the dungeon back together. We finished painting and now was hanging toys, curtains and chains and hankies. Must have hankies from the hankie code! We painted it grey for easier taking of pictures, the room was previously purple. Unpacking stuff to return to the dungeon was fun, and a little memory lane-ish.  Many items we unpacked  reminded me of fun times, both with play and with Juju. Wine and craft nights when we were exploring the metaphysical  sides of life and BDSM. Some of the crafts we made now adorn the walls of the dungeon, others were just fun to look at and reminisce.  Ah. Such good memories of the past few years, learning about my kinks, meeting a lot of wonderful people. Meeting Juju and then Tutivillus. I am very happy with the past few years and the way things kind of just trickle into place, right where they need to be at the time.

Yes, I will miss having Juju right down the road. But I am looking forward to the many new memories awaiting for the dungeon, life with Tutivillus, trips to see Juju, her coming to visit, and just continuing  the exploration of new not yet thought of things!

P.S. Juju- the air mattress getting a hole in it was a very unplanned thing… but glad I could get credit for the sadistic properties of it!

Just a smidge

Posted on by jouvarti
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I am me. I am now starting to feel like me again. I have been bitchy, sarcastic, laughing, crude, rude and a little nice. All in one day. I like being me. And doing good at my job. It feels good.

Now, on to other things! Maybe Yoga? And reminders. Yes, I must remind some people that although they are not the manual, I am off.

Turnabout is so sweet sometimes.

Now, on to watch Tutivillus and his “new” Atari flashback. Wow, just Wow is all I can say about that !A real Atari. No graphics card needed. Just a stick and a button.

Harvest

Posted on by jouvarti
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It’s Springtime. Here that means warm, nice sunny, 70′s temperature. Sometimes. Cold, 40′s rainy, occasional attempts at snowing. Sometimes in the same day. This morning it is warm, the wind is blowing a little. Sunny. I am having coffee on the patio. Tutivillus is having coffee with me. We are on the laptops, reading the internets. It is very nice and relaxing. Soon, I will start weeding. And planting. I don’t care for weeding. Weeds are not fun, especially when they come right back! I do love planting though. I have vegetables to plant. The fruit is starting to blossom already, they have been planted in previous years. Raspberries are taking over where strawberries once were planted. A few lone strawberries amongst the raspberries. Goosberries and blueberries are still too young for much fruit. They were the recent additions. I have many vegetables to plant. The vegetable garden is small. Holds tomatoes and five varieties of peppers. The rest, amongst the flowers. Squash, two varieties, cucumbers, zucchini and asparagus. Apples, peaches and grapes round out the harvest. I love fresh fruit and vegetables. Herbs are in pots, except the mint. This was put in a difficult to get anything to grow ares. It has taken off, and tries to spread out of its contained area!  Several times a year I have a BBQ, the only store boughten items on the menu is the meat and condiments. Mojitos are the drink of choice planned for this year.

Yes, my favorite time of year. The planting and harvesting of fruits and vegetables and watching them grow. I love flowers too. Peonies, clematis and bleeding hearts. Carnations are difficult to grow in this climate. They do well for a year or two, then die off. I pulled them out last fall. Need to get more. The clematis is my favorite. The dark purple color and the climbing vine is very pretty. I had several bushes of them at my previous house. This house I bought four and a half years ago. I haven’t been able to get any to grow here. I am planting three of them today. Hopefully they will take! As much as I love to watch everything grow, I tolerate weeding, but I hate mowing the lawn. I do it because I like the look of it, but I grumble. I have planned on getting a lawn boy every year and never do. This year, a casual conversation with a coworker, now I have a lawnboy. He called me Maam. He mows pretty patterns in the lawn. Worries it is done well enough to my satisfaction. Yes, never should have put off getting a lawnboy!

Coffee musings…

Posted on by jouvarti
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I tripped over Titus the other day. Not an unusual thing to trip over a cat. I trip over Jak all the time. My other cat was constantly under my feet. But not Titus. Tutivillus calls him worried cat. He is a Russian Blue who has been very skitterish. When he moved in, he was not seen a lot of the time as everything frightens him. He did not allow you to walk up to him and pet him, he would occasionally come over to you if you were unaware of his presence and peek around cautiously. Jumping and skyrocketing out of sight and away from close proximity of any perceived danger.He would come lay on the bed and sleep at night. The foot of the bed only and arriving after all were safely asleep and unable to perform multiple ills toward him. Scattering at first waking of the “humans”. Slowly he has become more social. He is seen, he plays a lot with Jak. Made monstrous strides when he swatted playfully at a string before running willy nilly up the stairs and under the bed. His secret fortress. I am planning on one day looking under there to see just how many socks, cat toys and such are preciously hidden from those mere humans that feed him and cause him so much worry. He meowed very quietly, in a very worrisome tone. Worried cat was his new moniker. He seemed to respond to that. In a pretty skitterish way.

The last few weeks he has taken to me I think. I stir in bed and he comes up to my face and tries to lick it. I don’t let him, I don’t even let Tutivillus lick my face! I will sit in my big leather chair with the big puffy cushion for my morning coffee  and he has started to sit on top of the cushion behind me, still not letting me hold him, I pick him up from behind there or from the bed and he will meow and wait a few seconds before jetting out of my arms and away from contact. I tell him I need a kitty in my lap occasionally, he just turns and walks away.

I did notice he would get very possessive of me, Jak would come around and Titus would chase him off. Didn’t want to be held, but wouldn’t allow Jak to be held by me. I didn’t notice how much closer he was getting and not running away as fast. Until I stepped on him. He ran then, but not very far and not for long. If I would have noticed that maybe it wouldn’t have surprised me so much. Or the surprise of last night. Instead of the back cushion, he climbed onto my lap and slept. For a long time, until I had to wake him up to get up.

Yes, sometimes I just need a kitty in my lap.

View from my lap as I write this.

Family night

Posted on by jouvarti
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Last night was a very fun and entertaining night. I wanted a light get together with Juju, Amiboi and Tutivillus. We  decided to have just a quiet evening of banter, Reiki and see where it went. I have done Reiki for about 18 years. I have had a level one Reiki with no interest to do any more. I had done self Reiki, and some close family, pets and friends. I stopped doing it altogether several years ago. Lately, with the journeys and pathworking I have had a desire to start up again, as well as get a level II. Amiboi is a level III Master. She agreed to do a Reiki session and give me a level II attunement. The session was very relaxing. I was a little floaty and just felt calm. It was nice. The attunement went well. I could feel my hands get very very warm. I saw a mist roll by. Away from her hands behind me down my shoulder and off to the right. The symbols are in a notebook. I am excited to start using them.

After a  few snacks, some drinks and banter we went upstairs to the designated dungeon and did a cathartic flogging scene. Juju flogged Amiboi while Tutivillus beat the hand drum, and I beat some sticks together. They are meditation sticks Juju had. It was a very intense scene. Afterwards we talked about the scene, Amiboi told us of her take on the scene and the catharsis aspect. A very good energy between us all.

Next, I wanted to try some pathworking with the drums. Amiboi and Juju beat the drums and bongos. The rhythmic drum beating was the goal. Tutivillus started with flogging me and then the bodypunching.

I was wanting to go find something very profound. Experience very detailed knowledge. I guess I was not wanting to be patient in the quest for what I am looking for in the cave and places I have gone. I went places. Short snippets of two places and one longer agonizing place. I wanted away from there. The first was very very cold. A jungle. I thought jungles were warm and tropical. This was cold, it was daylight but in the brush was dark. Many leaves were yellowed, mostly green but yellow edges. The beginning of sickness, death and dying. Not many bugs and animals. I recall wondering where all of the wildlife was. Why were there not spiders, bugs and insects. Death, sickness and dying was the feeling. And male energy. I believe I was male at this place.

The second snippet was a mineshaft. Dark, dank and musty smelling. It is rumbling. Caving in. I remember thinking; this is expected,  I will die here. But why does it have to happen now, I am not ready.  Sadness and great loss. Men around crying and yelling. Me, I am sad. Great sadness, not for the death that is coming, but for the loss of what will never be. I have never had anyone who will miss me when this cave in is over.

The third snippet. The longer one. The one I try to escape, barter to leave from. I think I ended the scene to get away from this place, not due to the pain itself of the beating. I feel male energy.I am sitting at a kitchen table. 1940-1950′s table. Formica with metal trim around it, metal legs and chairs. Family is watching, scared and sad. Not knowing what to say so they cower in the corner. The breadwinner. I can’t breathe. I am coughing, sputtering fighting to breathe. I can’t cry, I can’t show sadness, anger and worry. I am sad and angry. Very angry. What will happen to the children when I die. Cancer, lung cancer. That is the feeling. I can feel a large mass in my chest, pushing the air, not allowing me to breathe. I want to fight, knowing it is futile. Great worry about the children. I did not like this anguish of worry about the children. I end the scene due to anguish.

I really do not feel the punching throughout this scene. That part is very new for me. Usually, I do not want to leave but cannot take the pain anymore. This time the pain was not even noticeable. (Well, today it is VERY noticeable!) But I wanted to leave the place I was at. I tried many times to go somewhere else. I couldn’t.

After this scene I cried. I couldn’t cry during the scene. I did not like this anguish. I think that must be how it feels to leave children behind. Very very strong emotions for me.

After putting myself back together, I joined the others. We took some pictures. I took new “family” pictures. I like them!

Family pictures!