Round two of the big guns. Sunday I went back to the self medication,  the phentermine. The return of tiredness, the decreasing effect of the concentration. The return of the “electrical feel” zapping the brain. And the mood changes. I felt like I was losing emotions. I could not take the Stratterra any more. I tried. I really really tried. Round two starts tomorrow. Amphetamines. I work in healthcare, I see the problems of people who do amphetamines. My physician couldn’t answer me when I asked if people with ADHD, when the body needs it, do the drugs not have as many heart and stroke problems when it is needed rather than abused?  He either couldn’t or wouldn’t answer that. Blood pressures, heart rate and such are monitored. I will get to know my physician really well. I get to see him every month for a while then every three months as long as I take this medication. I am not good with commitments! Every three months, really! My insurance dictates whether I can have this drug. They decide if I have suffered enough with trying everything first. I had to do tests and evaluations. When did insurance companies become better physicians than the ones who actually are looking at the patient, seeing the symptoms, and attended medical school. I won’t get into that one! They required a tier med start. Before the Stratterra could be prescribed, I had to try an anti depressant. Wellbutrin. I tolerated that for three months. I liked it from week three to month two. Five weeks of effectiveness. Then weirdness. I felt very anxious and disjointed. I stopped taking it and felt better. Then trial two, the Stratterra. Now…. we will see what happens. Me vs the pills! Could be a scene! I need to plan a scene!

Yes, that is what I need to focus on! Plans!

And, my stick. I have a special order beating stick that should be done soon. I will post pics when it is done and in my hands! Yes, on to planning the beatings!