I put some needles in a friend at the last party. She didn’t bleed a lot, just a little. Watching her go to a happy place with each needle inserted was very entertaining. The sadistic side of me got a nice taste, especially when I needed to “rearrange” the needles, in case they might fall out or something, I needed to pat them frequently to just “check” they were still in place. Yes, I can be a bit sadistic. It is very fun!

But frequently, I am a touch masochistic. I very much enjoy the touch, the different textures and varying sensations. Seeing what each new thing feels like, the fluffy feeling it puts me in, and how much of each I can take. I have always enjoyed new things, the element of surprise with each play. I just learned something new. I am not so much into the element of surprise anymore. I like the sensations I know. The more sadistic I become aware of, the less new sensations entice me. This was pointed out to me recently. I was complaining a lot about the pain of the beeswax candles, they were burning. I complain. (Yes, I have never denied being a bratty masochist. I am very verbal about my so called displeasure of the pain being inflicted) He just stopped and said something about me never liking the new pain , I need to know what is coming before I like it. The second time I do something is when I really like it because I know what to expect. I never realized the change in me towards this. But it is very true.

Yet, I still like the element of surprise. Just the type of surprises has changed. My favorite scenes lately have been the private impromptu scenes just because of the look and feel of the moment, a sudden urge or even there is a few hour lapse between stuff needing to be done!

Yes, being a switchy person is the best of both worlds!